Bodybuilder's exaggerated skull structure saves life
Doctors say man's drug abuse and resulting agromegly saved his
life
Las Vegas, NV (AP) -- Professional
bodybuilder Craig Titus survived a brutal beating by UFC fighter
Phil Baroni - but not for the reasons you would think.
While most fighers protect themselves in the ring with quick
moves and quicker fists, Titus utilized a different approach-
take the punches and keep on standing.
According to fight doctors, Titus' ability to soak up so many
blows to the head from his opponent was direct result of his years
of steroid abuse. HgH, or human growth hormone, which has a side
efect of exaggerated facial features, and a skull girth that exceeds
37 inches.
"The scorecard read 217 to 2", said Joe Rogan, fighting
enthusiast and TV host. "Titus just stood there like a punching
bag. The only points Titus scored were two that Baroni was charged
for fondling his own genitals while mocking Titus two minutes
into the fight."
Some boxing enthusiasts wondered why Titus' team didn't throw
in the towel. Spectators say his manager/wife Kelly was unable
to see the fight, as she was spotted in a compromising position
with hollywood actor and superior bodybuilder/ alpha-male, **********************.
By the time she rose from her knees and wiped the fluids from
her face, Craig Titus was already the victim of at least 75 body
blows and 165 shots to the head. And ******? He was out the door...
The medical community was not the only group to take notice of
Titus' ability to take shots to the head. The Guiness Book of
World Records immediately declared Titus the victim of the worst
beating in recorded history. The DEA passed on the ability to
bust Titus for his drug use, and instead wanted him to sign a
waiver donating his skull, upon his death, to DuPont for better
bullet-resistant material research.
And how did Baroni emerge from the fight? Despite his victory
and $40,000 purse, the man may lose both hands, which received
irreversable nerve damage from continually striking the skull
of the inept fighter. Titus, while emerging with skull intact,
was left with a midsection bloated from the multiple blows he
took to the torso. His previous 51-inch waistline balloned to
what he called a 'Coleman-esque' 62.5 inches around.
Titus said despite his inability to defend himself, he plans
to fight again, perhaps in the women's division. Baroni, armed
with $40,000 and bragging rights, was said to be heading to a
Mexican whorehouse to train for his next fight, when he plans
to bulk up in preparation for a sumo-style match with bodybuilder
**** ******.
Copyright 2005 The
Associated
Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published,
broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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